Untitled #4

As the sun sets
My hopes rise
That this will feel like heaven
This Hell of a night
With my thoughts a blur
With my words slurred
I think of yesterday
Me and her
Never did it matter
How foolish I've been
As long as I had you
I could pretend
That I was better off
These days my thoughts sway
Elsewhere.....
No where.....
Who cares?
Not you or I
If I was a fly
On your wall
Would you swat me away as you did?
Made me feel small
In the morning
I dress,and stroll
Forget'n all the pain
I've felt,and the toll
It's taken on me
Just to breath,and be normal
Seems like such a tall order
At times I swear
This is punishment for another life
So I fight these demons daily
Best I can
For I
Aspire to be a better man
Sure you understand
I'm sure you care
Just not enough of the latter
To be there
For me when I needed you the most
As the sun set
My hopes rose
On this hell of a night
That to me
Felt like heaven